It Ain’t Over Until the Fat Lady Tweets

Normaali

Viikko 18


 

Motion: THB that obesity is a curable disease that is currently being treated with the wrong set of remedies
Role: Chair (opp.)
Date: Apr 3rd, 2013


Dear Ladies and Gentlemen, the Assemblage and Chair,
on behalf of the opposition, I’d like to speak against the motion of the govt. Namely, I believe that obesity is:
– a buffer/margin against the threat of a famine <raise one finger, not the middle one>
– a gift from God to appreciate and accentuate our natural differánce <raise another finger>
– a reflection of one’s true personality <raise a third finger>

Obese people are pyknic according to the famous characterization of Ernst Kretschmer, an Austrian Nazi-era psychiatrist. They represent joviality, gregariousness, willingness to break bread or share a sud with other people. Obese folk have a natural capacity to enjoy life and others. Therefore, they should be endorsed and fetéd as part of the ”fabric” of social ”tissue”.

Obese people can be treated with a slew of cures today. The most success- and painful option is to have gastric bypass surgery, which means the reduction of the size of the total volume of the stomach (bag). By eating less under duress, the obese people quickly lose several (dozens of) pounds of overweight. Other options:
# – carbohydrate-poor diets
# – diets that are considered ”crash diets”
# – exercise
# – motivational partners
# – nutritional counselling
# – weightwatchers

Evolution made obese people obese. It could be that the juncture was when people as a race turned to agriculture for food. It was maybe then that the first flabby fat tissues began to emerge around the muscles in the human body on a permanent basis. Maybe the invention of alcohol accentuated this development, as we know it to be fattening and such by turning quickly into fat in unexercising people. But this is not the point. The obese got an evolutionary advantage out of being fat in times of extreme famine, extinction and depredation. Excess fat has BEEN the saving grace of the human race. As Richard Wrangham famously put it in his book, cooking food and brain size have gone hand in hand, and fat people have been at the forefront of this nutritional (r)evolution. We need to value their contribution to the evolution of the human success story. Fat people are the reserve of human endurance, so that’s why they should have a place on the pedestal and a position of importance in society at large.

If and when it is abundantly clear that circumstances favour slim people, people will/would lose weight automatically. Moreover, they will pass genes causing or ensuring that down to their children. Right now, slim people are churning out fat children, so there is something in the air that favours this ”reverse” genetic development. Maybe those who are obese portend or presage the coming of hard times (of famine and turmoil)? Wouldn’t you want to be fat in times of hunger and want?

Thank you.


Kesto: 5 min 5 sek
Arvio: * * * *. Tein tämän puheen siinä 15 minuutissa, joka on allokoitu tähän, suorituksena siis hyvä. Tässä käydään aiheeseen sitä kautta, että koko asia olisi turhaa, eikä käydä niinkään väittelemään keinoista (siihen, mikä katsotaan muutenkin turhaksi.) Seuraavat puhujat voivat sen sijaan vääntää kättä keinoista ja kyseenalaistaa ne. Näin käydään luonnollinen kaari makrotematiikasta mikrotematiikkaan, mitä usein peräänkuulutetaan.

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