Monthly Archives: kesäkuu 2015

Yo lo siento por el ayuntamiento


Viikko 26


: THW force more and more municipalities to go into a merger with each other in order to develop administration domestically
Role: Minister (govt.)

I would go and root for municipal or community mergers as a way forward in this critical era, when money is tight and politicians are scrambling for solutions.

Municipal mergers are an attempt at trying to take care of those who are about to lose their self-esteem in society. Mostly the question is of sorting out all the elderly people who are living in the countryside and barely scraping by. This is the last step in the structural change that began in Finland in the 1960’s and has been mostly brought to completion and finalisation.

The idea is to round up the last senior citizens who have resisted change, relocation and seeking themselves to the cities. Taking them to the warm municipal lap of health checks, hospitals and supported living when they no longer can make it on their own is the goal. Their needs are too manifold and multilayered for their local health services to be able to cater for their needs. When they are under one administrative umbrella, their needs can be taken care of in a convincing and effective way. Municipal mergers are less about subjugating one thriving community under the yoke of another, bigger one, and more about uniting a dead countryside with the living urban fabric usually quite close to it.

Mergers can be progressive, too, instead of being merely aggressive. I would compare them with merging two file cabinets. When I merged my two real-life folders filled with administrative documents that amounted together for 150 % of space, I ended up acquiring 15 % of more space. There were many unnecessary labels, empty compartments and dated documents in my files; just the kind of s**t they’re hoping to come by in the negotiations and realisation of a municipal merger. I think that 15 % of saved money/space/resources is enough if a merger needs to be justified by some number or figure.

The underlying idea behind a municipal merger is of course Money: today money circulates in a lemniscate loop between communities and the State. The state has to lend to communities what they don’t have, after they’ve been raped by structural changes, massive outgoing emigration waves and deindustrialisation. Now, if municipal-merger reforms are carried out properly, the money lemniscate will resemble more a circle than a lemniscate; money will come from the wealthiest in the community and circle back to the poorer residents, thus forming a circle rather than the infinity sign.

The state and the government want a better, self-sufficient network of communities in Finland, so that it can devote its money to the larger agendas, larger affiliations and international concerns. We really should take care of our poor and needy, but it can be done with smaller units, less redundancy and less intrusion and supervision by the Big Brother (i.e. the State).

I hope that this would convince you to root for up-and-coming municipal mergers.

Thank You.

Puheen kesto: 3 min 55 sek
Arvio: * * * ½. Puhe on keskivertohyvä. Siinä on hyvä jäsentely ja hyvä alustus. Loppu on napakka. Asiasta voi silti olla kahta/monta mieltä.



Attraction in the 21st Century


Viikko 25


Motion: THB that the way to fend off divorce is to counsel and educate people about couple formation and love’s foundations
Role: Minister (govt.)

I think that love can be found in this world by using a little bit of common or uncommon sense. I do not believe in either love at first sight or so-called arranged or rational love that is based on money, wealth and family approval, and well documented in those novels that came out from and during the Enlightenment to the Industrial Revolution.

Love can be found Critically; by having Criteria that are not too light nor too loose — that is, human, flexible, fair criteria. I am going to present you with a set of criteria right here, and they could be regarded as an example rather than an exclusive path to the right solution.

The first criterion is food. Those who date should cook for each other. If they appreciate each other’s cooking enough, they may find enough appreciation for each other as well. Regímes have to be compatible if not overlapping. A vegetarian may not be able to consort with a carnivore. The relationship to alcohol may not be that important, unless one person has a clear problem with it.

A second watershed is friends and other people: individual or circles of friends have to be compatible if not overlapping. If one cannot tolerate or appreciate the other’s choices for acquaintances and friends, other things will come under scrutiny as well. The opposite problem would be a situation where one has friends and the other has none at all, which causes an inevitable tension, of course. A break-up is inevitable in the long run, which is time enough to ruin the lives of eventual kids born to the couple in the meantime. The relationship to relatives may not be that important, unless they are insufferable, overbearing and über-demanding on either’s side.

The third premise is finances. There has to be a fixed income for both parties. It does not matter where that money comes from (capital gains, inheritance, gambling, salaries, royalties, etc.) as long as it does appear and exist. Neither are the sums important. 40K a year is just as good as 65K. It’s enough to put food on the table and shelter over the heads and ensure the possibility for travel, something that works as a valve in the relationship. A bit of escapism/romance is always needed extraneously.

The fourth, and possibly most important thing, is intellectual. Since men and women are intellectually incompatible due historical, evolutionary and biological reasons, something has to be invented in its stead, in lieu of true similarity. The answer may lie in objects and abstractions. If a man and a woman, that is, a couple, amass or collect the same concrete or abstract thing, they have a unifying bond. This can take the form of traditional coins and stamps, recipes or books but also move to the more unorthodox world of gadgets, concepts or ways to self-improve — or any other thing that can be accumulated and collected (apart from money). An evolutionary approach lies in the importance of the idea of collecting in itself: hunter-gatherers were the hegemonical human tribe in the very beginning, before being superseded by farmers and agriculturists. This matters, as the primal, core attraction between men and women goes back a long time, possibly right back to those caveman times. In any event, because men and women go their separate ways, what they find during their days creates added value if they combine their findings at the end of the day. To paraphrase, what drives a wedge between men and women can also bring them together per this view.

So, if a couple cannot tick off boxes like these in their relationship, it’s no wonder that half of marriages end up in tears and sorrow. People, wo/man up and take the spade in your own hands.

Thank you.

Puheen kesto: 4 min 46 sek
Arvio: * * * *. Puhe kohenee loppua kohti yhdenlaiseksi persoonalliseksi kannanotoksi, joka toivottavasti toimii vastapainona avaajan objektiivisemmalle ja generalistisemmalle ulosannille. Tämän jälkeen toinen puolisko saa periaatteessa sanoa aiheesta mitä haluaa, yleistä tai erityistä.


Pub(l)ic Outcry


Viikko 24


Motion: THB that women should be allowed to be more natural-looking
Role: Minister (govt.)
Date: Aug 1st, 2013

I have a very clear-cut vision of what kind of ”vegetation” or bodily hair would make the female of the species nice-looking, beautiful or acceptable (without regard to mental faculties or social considerations). In the following speech, I’m going to sum it up so that you get the drift. Namely, I’m going to go through the thicket of of pubic, leg and armpit hair. They all fashion what’s it like to be a woman — in ads, jokes and movies around the world. So, without further ado, let’s plunge deeper into Hair, that thing that caused a revolution in the period from the Sixties to the Seventies.

First off, armpit hair. The coming Movember movement is going to champion armpit hair, but I am no fan. Armpit hair is awful. The look of it is bad on both men and women. It should go, and for this simple reason. It reminds men of 70s and 80s Iron Curtain (it is not known what was going on behind the curtain) athletes, who used heavy doping and testosterone injections (especially on women) to achieve better scores in muscle-reliant genres such as shot put, javelin and discus-throwing. All of those Eastern bloc women left their armpit hair unshaven, possibly to intimidate their rivals. Their ghosts keep intimi-dating young boys even today. Armpit hair is a reminder of a false body image, somewhere halfway between masculinity and feminity, on the way to a sex-change operation.

Secondly, leg hair could be harmful, but actually it is usually not. Namely, that type of hair is often light in two senses of the word — light in colour and light in thickness. One barely notices leg hair on people, unless that hair gets wet or is trapped inside a pantyhose. Leg hair is a touch or a nod to the wildness in our nature, and therefore it is provisional to either leave it or remove it. I would not ditch a girl with leg hair, if she was otherwise as fit as a fiddle and as sharp as a knife. I’d feel like a dupe thereafter, otherwise.

Finally, there is the question of pubic hair…. the tricky one. Actually, it’s not tricky at all. A big bush is today frowned upon, while a clean shaven p**sy is the norm in pornography and increasingly between the sheets at home all over the country and the globe. I do not understand Why. A clean shaven **ssy reminds us of children, as that kind of vagina is the way girl children are ”equipped”. The average person is absolutely horrified about paedophiles and would not tolerate one in the neighbourhood; yet, these same people want the ”pedo experience” in their own bedroom. A grown-up woman, an adult lady, on the other hand, should have something more legal-looking, and that thing is — a bush (maybe trimmed). Keep it real down under. Have a neatly trimmed ”runway” or whatever it’s called. That is cool. But even a more unkempt ”airport” would not disgust or offend me, even one of a 3rd-world style.

My recipe for a good pelage is thus: no hair (pits) <> some hair (legs) <> all hair (pubes). I don’t see why women should be subjected to nihilism and not have their degree of liberty when it comes to shaving off their torsoes. After all, they have inherited half of their genes from their hirsute Father….

Thank you.

Puheen kesto: 5 min 39 sek
Arvio: * * *. Puheen aihe on vähän rasittava, mutta siihen nähden, että edellä on mennyt jo yksi, asiaa eri kantilta katsova pääministeri-puhuja, tämä toinen voi palauttaa keskustelun raikkaasti takaisin perusteisiin ja maan pinnalle. Osittainhan kyse on makuasiasta, vaan senkin voi perustella (hyvin tai huonosti).

Loitering for a Living


Viikko 23


Motion: THB that strip malls are not the right place for young people during the day and on weekends unless they need stuff
Role: Minister (govt.)
Date: April 5th, 2013

#1 Assertion
Young people today are a common sight in malls where people are shopping, whereas these youngsters are killing time. I don’t like it. When I was young, people were divided into three categories, and I’m talking about the young expressly. Those who a) had or b) had not money but stayed at home and those who c) had money and maybe spent some of it the way they fancied. The idea was, all the same, to SPEND MONEY somewhere in the form of clothes, soft drinks, burgers or electronics but not TIME. Now those who don’t have the money to spend come over to hang out.

Everyone knows how rowdy teenagers can be. They somehow manage to occupy more vocal and spatial room than the rest of the population, due in part to faulty motorics, perhaps, a not fully wired body-and-mind connection, maybe. They move around somehow awkwardly or attention-grabbingly, so that the older person feels (s)he has to yield and let the youngsters pass first. It feels wrong, since the old ones are paying up in full to the beat of their purchasing power for their shopping experience, while the young are freeloaders.

#2 Assertion
Just like alcoholism is bad for the older population, mall-loitering dumbs down the young. They lose time and brain-cell development opportunities at the malls. Malls have hardly any constructive or developing function in anyone’s life. Even adults languish in them to some extent. They bring money to those who work there and they provide semi-important goods to those who come to shop. Otherwise, they don’t seem to have any creative characteristics. Some malls have cineplexes/cinemas, and it is perfectly OK if young people mix with the slightly older set there as long as they even view that movie.

#3 Argument
Our govt. would like to place restriction
s for young people at malls. Why not allow young people there on the same grounds as old people: You Work or Buy here, and You’re Welcome. Otherwise you’d be unwelcome, uninvited, undesired, a nuisance. Even buying one cup of coffee would be enough to redeem one’s place at the mall. The trouble for young people with coffee is that coffee boosts up the intelligence and brain activity, and they are not ready or willing for that kind of thing. ☻

Another way for young people to redeem themselves, in consequence, would be to advertise for the companies whose products they are not buying. Young people both a) create a mood for buying by turning up and b) destory that mood in being obnoxiously all over the place, something older folks don’t like. Therefore, youth should make amends for this bad thing and provide publicity for free for the companies whose bottom lines they are marring. They should place ads around, assist in placing stuff in plastic bags, draw posters, sort out trash, take empty bottles to recycling centers, pose as mannequins (girls) or paint facades (boys). This way, kids and teens would learn something about the way, manner and ethic the real world works in. There are, namely, no free lunches, as they are in the habit of saying. That is, everyone pays. Youth should pay, too, in their own, modest way. The good thing about youth is that they are outgoing. For a finale, I’d say that…. they should go out of their way to help the aged.

Puheen kesto: 4 min 21 sek
Arvio: * * ½. Puhe jää hieman lyhyeksi. Se ei ole epämääräinen, mutta aihe on ehkä vähän triviaali, kaiken kaikkiaan, eivätkä esitetyt ehdotukset todennäköisesti toimisi tosielämässä, vaan niistä kieltäydyttäisiin. Todennäköisimmin todellisuudessa notkuminen kiellettäisiin säädöksellä, asetuksella tai lailla.